Find your happy

I recently had the opportunity to speak to a group of university graduates and was struck by the energy in the room. This was a room full of some the best qualities - hope, promise, excitement, eagerness, and an openness to the world ahead. This level of energy and sense of confidence in the future is not always present. My work brings me together with executives in transition and I am always struck by the tension between those executives who want to find a new direction and those that want to “just get back in the chair”. This is a familiar conversation in executive coaching. My challenge always is what to tell them, because they are looking for something. Something that moves them from where they are, to where they need to be.
What I know is that telling people what they already know creates no value. While it is easy, it does not help. The hardest thing for people to hear is something that contradicts what they believe to be true. This is the place where people feel safe. Most people in transition whatever their circumstance do not feel as safe as they did before beginning their transition. Everyone has their own situation, everyone is ready in their own time. 
So what happens to that energy, that confidence, that belief in “me”. Early in my life I studied behavioural psychology and have always been drawn in by the learning. One of the key learnings for me has been that we are hard wired to be liked. Why? Being liked keeps you in the tribe where food, shelter, and companionship are available. It is safe to be liked. But there is a different path. The path of value. That is the path that I believe it is important for people either young in their careers or experienced executives to see and experience. I believe that all of us have the opportunity through our work to create value. To make a contribution in the world. But that path can challenge your confidence, your energy, your belief in “me”. So what I would tell someone - know what makes you happy and find a place where you can give your best. Your best is valuable and so are you.